Origin of the Psycho

Extract from Starfleet Historical Database:

Section 12B/76D Starships:

TITLE: A Brief History of the Starship Psycho:

The story of the Psycho began when the colony of Simeonia threatened to secede from the Federation over an argument over alleged misappropriation of resources. Simeonia was home to several valuable minerals, including dilithium, so naturally the Federation Council was anxious to ensure the colony remained within UFP’s borders. This anxiousness increased when a Klingon delegate was sent to the planet to suggest the beneficial effects of being annexed by the Empire. A delegation was sent to the planet, and after several days of intense negotiations, a deal was agreed upon, whereby the offending officials were sacked, and the colony was to have a starship dedicated to it.

Five years after the last Constitution-class starship was built, then, construction began on a new ship, provisionally christened the Simeon, in honour of the colony’s founder, Simeon Marcus Crumb. However, the Simeonians insisted that the ship be named in honour of Crumb’s nickname. And so the vessel became the Psycho. Further problems ensued when the officer in charge of construction was heard by one of a group of Simeonians visiting their ship to mutter, “Bloody stupid name.” This caused a further diplomatic row, in which the Council sought to placate the Simeonians by giving them the further honour of choosing the vessels registry number. After a surprisingly short time, (approximately thirty seconds according to the minutes of the meeting) the Simeonian delegation decided on SMC-1234 as an appropriate registry.

When the vessel was commissioned, a vast delegation of Simeonians came to see the ship launched. The launch went smoothly, in fact, it was to be almost the only operation the Psycho carried out which ever went smoothly. The Psycho became known for having both bad luck and a high rate of crew turn-over. For some reason, very few crew that boarded the ship stayed there for long. One notable exception was an engineer who joined the ship as a newly-qualified ensign, rising through the ranks to become the ship’s Chief Engineer, a post at which he then remained.

Starfleet began to use the Psycho as a dumping ground for all the misfits, wierdos and other assorted lowlife that somehow slipped through the net. The ship was given out-of-the-way assignments, or put on low-risk patrol duty, for much of her operational career. She was periodically refitted to bring her into line with the rest of the fleet, but only for the reasons that no-one could get the spares for the older equipment.

Finally, she was ordered to the Throid system for a routine inspection, where her luck changed…

Extract Ends